Being clear about what you would be saying goodbye to – friends, benefits, stability, a familiar routine – may clarify whether you are really prepared to give it up. What would I be giving up by quitting?Ĭhange inevitably means compromise, says Tweddell. By involving them, he says, “you have allies on that journey and some accountability”. “They often see things in us that we don’t see in ourselves, which really helps in the search for future positions,” says Chambers.Ĭonversely, it is hard to make a big life change without the support of those closest to you, especially if there are financial pressures. “People will always have the answer of what to do next after this exercise.” What do my friends and family say?Ī trusted sounding board can help you to understand your own thinking and propel you towards a decision. “It’s great to see what changes, the clarity of what’s going on for people,” she says. They repeat that exercise three times over a six-week period. Tweddell gets her clients to come up with a clear picture of their “ideal tomorrow”, with no detail too small or idea discounted. We don’t think of our values enough, yet this is where our resistance and conflict often sit – making a career and life change has to be about more than career for it to be fulfilling.” How would my perfect day be different? “The strongest question you can work on is how you want to live, and how you want to be.
It’s not enough to think about what’s wrong with your current role, your dream job or even your passions, says Tweddell. This can be the hardest question to answer. ‘Try to visualise your perfect day.’ Illustration: Spencer Wilson at Synergy/The Guardian What do I actually want to do? If so, talk to your manager about taking some time off. It’s also worth considering whether you may be burnt. “But a change of job is not actually going to change the situation,” says Navit Schechter, a cognitive behavioural therapist. With the future still uncertain, it could be that your desire to quit is rooted in wanting to exercise some control over your life, or feel as if you are making progress. But “most of us have not been through something as serious or significant as this, ever”, he says. Now that restrictions have eased, it is easy to underestimate the impact of the disruption and stress of the past 18 months. If, however, your dissatisfaction is more recent – say, since February 2020 – “a lot of that is pandemic-related,” says Chambers. It is easy to keep giving it another six months, he says – “but there’s a reason why you’re feeling that way”. If it’s been years, predating the pandemic, Chambers suggests it might be time to act.
It may help to think about when you were last consistently happy at work. “Knowing that it’s not the first time you’ve taken a step in your career can make another one feel less daunting,” says Chambers.
Reflecting on your past can help put your present situation in perspective and lay a blueprint for your future – if only by underscoring your own agency. How did I get here?Īs you consider your next steps, it can help to zoom out to see those that led you here: why did you take this job? What has been your career path so far? She suggests writing down every thought and feeling you have about your job for 10 days. “The ‘why’ question is where everyone starts, but the first answer you give yourself is rarely what’s really going on,” says Eleanor Tweddell, the founder of the post-redundancy coaching consultancy Another Door. Drill down not only into your role and responsibilities, but particular projects, pay, potential for progression, workplace culture, workload, colleagues, company values and any recent restructures or takeovers. The more precise you can be about the cause, the greater clarity you will have. “What are your frustrations? What’s that primary sticking point, the one thing that’s really tipped the balance so this question has become prominent in your mind?” “Otherwise it’s going to have an increasingly negative impact on your health.”īut, he adds, you must be brutally honest with yourself. If it feels like a question of self-preservation, “something that is effectively pivotal to you feeling like a human being, it’s almost as if that decision needs to be made for you,” he says. If work is causing you significant mental or physical distress, perhaps because of bullying or chronic overwork, it may be that you have to quit, says the psychologist Lee Chambers. Here are 17 questions to ask yourself to help you clarify your thinking – and your future. But how do you know if you are in desperate need of change or just in a pandemic fug.
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